/start rant

Best word to describe my life now,

Every now and then, i bump into a wall in life, which makes me think.

Suddenly i question myself on my actions..

Whats the point of wearing a $480 jeans?

Whats the point of buying a dior shirt?

Whats the point of eating exp food when a $2.50 wanton mee can fill my stomach?

everything seems pointless.. money is pointless.. or even more so.. saving up is pointless..

Whatever i type above is pointless, nothing matters.

Guess once again I've hit the low point again. Concocting incomprehensible logics and theories.

its one of the few moments when one can get to see zhangkai in this kinda state.

As always, still the same zhangkai. commitment kills.

supposed to be happy with POP just round the corner. but with the recent weeks, how can i be?

most likely this year birthday gonna be spending in army.. guess it would be fated ba. who needs to celebrate birthdays anyway? it comes every year.

sian. i just need something to motivate myself back up.. argh fuck. this really isnt who i want to be..

a hand from anyone is more than welcomed if there is any out there.. guess my blog is the best place for me to relief that extra load off my mind.. at least get something off me.

and one thing i realize, drinking definitely doesnt help for long. its cant even be used as a temp solution as i havent get knocked out before.. only thing i get from excessive drinking is endless sessions of one vomit after the other before falling asleep with tat ever-so familiar burn in my throat and the mind-blowing wakeup call u get in ur head the next morning..

sometimes life like to give me a slap in the face just to remind me tat at the end of the day, no matter how hard i try.. things doesnt always go my way.

i tot i would be stronger. apparently. im not.

/end rant